Scrum: New Age homeopathy for software teams

Get rich quick!

Lose weight without diet or exercise!

Build high-quality software faster with Scrum!

Somebody is making a lot of money out of these programs and it’s usually not you.

Large companies have a difficult time adapting to change. It impacts a lot of people, making management a bit more conservative. Change is scary and people turn to frameworks and methodologies for guidance. The most popular of these paint-by-numbers-tools is Scrum. It’s well-documented, popular and just doesn’t work.

There is an entire industry that only talks the talk. They’ll speak about fast and small, but try to sell you 3 full-time Agile consultants. They preach about self-organizing teams, but they always seem to come with an expensive Scrum Master. They’ll present you the iterative Lean approach, but don’t mind selling you that 2-year fixed-price project. They have no clue how to build software, but just happen to have the right methodology for it.

Aren’t we tired of this, as an industry? Scrum is a lie. It’s old-school Waterfall with more overhead and less analysis. Scrum is a sales guy saying “Lean” the way Deepak Chopra says “Quantum”. It’s New Age homeopathy for software teams.

Quality is still bad. We still ship once every few months. Change is still expensive and users are never involved. Feedback is ignored and plans are still king. After all these sugar pills, we are still sick.

The only difference now is that when things go wrong, it’s because you are not doing “it” right. They can’t tell you exactly what “it” is, but they can sell you a coach. This chakra cleansing cannot work if you don’t believe in it, silly!

Here’s the deal: the only ones who have gotten better are the Scrum consultants and 3M. Your company deserves better than that.

Software is challenging and IT is difficult. You don’t need another group of Scrum mystics to make things even more complicated. Instead of a silver bullet, they are selling you lead poisoning.

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