If you’ve ever worked on a software project, you’ve noticed there is quite a bit of project management jargon being thrown around. Since asking questions makes you look stupid, I’ve compiled this quick cheat sheet.
Project: Planned set of vague interrelated tasks to be executed over a never-ending period while going over budget.
Budget: The amount of money the sales guy told you it was going to cost.
Deadline: Important date that is never missed. It needs to be done by the deadline. Definition of “it” and “done” likely to change as the deadline approaches.
Milestone: Deadline but in a bigger font.
JIRA: A programming language for managers.
Requirement: Some feature that sounds like a good idea to someone who doesn’t have to build or maintain it.
User story: A poem written in this format:
As a functional analyst,
I want to add JIRA tickets,
so I can justify my salary.
Planning: The art of building mosaics in Excel. Dedicated project managers can spend hours perfecting their designs.
Estimating: Fun team building activity where the manager has a number in mind and the team tries to guess it.
Resources: People who’s name you can’t remember.