Scrum is hot! Since it’s all technical mumbo-jumbo, you can use this cheat sheet to pretend you know what you’re talking about.
Ceremonies
Don’t call these meetings meetings. That makes you look like a manager and you don’t want that.
Daily Stand-up
15 minute meeting (that takes much longer) where people can’t remember what they did yesterday.
Sprint Planning
2 hour meeting to discuss how many man-days a story point is.
Backlog Grooming Session
2 hour meeting to conclude everything is high priority and must-have.
Retrospective
2 hour meeting to complain about the same stuff we complained about last sprint.
Demo
2 hour meeting where we tell the customer about all the back-end improvements we made but just can’t show.
Roles
Everybody does their part in a cross-functional team. There is a clear Definition of Not My Job.
Team Member
Worker bee. Is late for stand-up.
Scrum Master
Junior Project Manager.
Product Owner
That woman who is in meetings all day.
Stakeholders
When these people show up, there is cheap wine. Hooray!
Customer Proxy
That guy who makes sure you can’t talk to the customer.
Agile Tester
That poor lady that works until 20h every other Thursday.